I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
