Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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