If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
