i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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