I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
