you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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