I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
