hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
A+ Viking dick
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
