I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She bit a glass in half.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
