my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
