i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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