I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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