i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
