Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
