For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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