No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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