Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
wow bdsm is so cute
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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