That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
