i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
