Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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