wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
