you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Porn is love you can see.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Randomize
