We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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