FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
