I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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