Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You smell like stripper and shame
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
