Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
