she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
