Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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