some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
