I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
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I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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