would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Enjoy the penises
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
