This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You're like the curious george of whores
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
