you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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