Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
