wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize