Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize