and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
