and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
