new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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