i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
