your thong is hanging out like whoa
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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