He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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