Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
