i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize