White coat. Heels.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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