By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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