i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
