is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
