we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize