Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
