Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize