some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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