I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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