the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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