i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
