yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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