If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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