We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
