highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
