My friends, they love my intelligence
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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