Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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