I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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