my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
