his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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