And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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